The Bums Lost...Lebowski Fest: Saturday

As soon as we got up Saturday, Lee raced to finish his marmot. The cordless drill needed 16 hours to charge. By now it was ready. All we had to do was finish sewing the legs of the collie together to make it more linear, and trim the excess dowel.

Both operations went smoothly. A test spin of the marmot was a success!

I finished assembling my moustache, spray painted my hat white, and we left for breakfast.

The spray paint took nearly all day to dry.

Later that afternoon, we ran into Jim Hoosier, aka Liam, and he posed for a photo with Lee and I. A very nice guy - he couldn't have been nicer.

It was about 97 degrees and very humid, so Lee and I did the garden party in shorts. The afternoon garden party was an excuse to sell more beer and merchandise, but we enjoyed hanging out and listening to various bands play live music and chatting with other fans.

We ran into Dave and Matt from Calgary again. We had first met them Thursday night at the hotel bar. They had been drinking white Russians that night, natch. When I ordered a White Russian, as well, our cover was blown (Lee eventually tried the White Russian, and to my great surprise, he liked it. Lee is not generally very open to trying new tastes...it was a big enough surprise that he actually tried it. ). They are both toy store employees at Discovery Hut. They were happy to be in Louisville, as the Calgary Stampede is going on right now and no one shops in their store during Stampede, apparently. Now they were just hanging out at the garden party, as hot and sweaty as we were.

Back to White Russians: I'm not a huge vodka fan...so I stick to Sombreros.

There were various games to play, with proceeds going to Louisville charities. I played Toss the Marmot and won a pack of Nihilist Gum (slogan: It doesn't taste like anything). One game had been set up the night before...the Ringer Toss, which involved launching a bowling bag ringer at a mannekin Nihilist while sitting in the front seat of the rusty green Ford Torino Lebowski-mobile. I missed the Nihilist, my ringer going left of the target.

Around 7 we headed back to the hotel to change for the costume party at 8. The humidity was delaying the drying of my hat, so it was still a little tacky to the touch. The moustache went on easy enough with double sticky tape, but I could tell that the heat and humidity were going to be an issue all night, and I was right. I battled that moustache throughout the evening.

While standing in line for the costume party, I completed Round One of the trivia contest. The line got long, and you could see various Dudes, Maudes, Jesuses and Walters milling around. I never got called for Round Two, so I didn't make the cut.

The bowling itself was pretty awful...although the lanes are good as lanes go: modern, good wood, computerized scoring. Most Lebowski Fest folks don't know how to bowl, or understand bowling etiquette, so each game was painful to watch and participate in. But we had fun posing with other characters...many folks would walk by and tell me "I like yer style," and Lee and I both got requests to pose from other fans.

The bowling party attendance was probably closer to 1000 folks. There were about 300 or so people bowling at any one time, and lots of people in costume milling around. The alley had White Russian stations and also offered "Oat Sodas," aka Miller and Bud Lights.

I tried to pose with at least one of each type of character I could find...I posed with various Dudes, 2 Jesuses, one Walter, one Maude, one Saddam, 2 Jackie Treehorns, and a Brandt. Lee had a few folks yell "Nice marmot!" at him, so he was happy. And I ran into Jim Hoosier again, and he posed with me and a drunken girl from Indianapolis.

The Brandt (Adam from Chicago) bowled with us, and his friend Barry was a Jackie Treehorn. They disappeared halfway though our bowling match, and when they reappeared, they told us they had been interviewed by USA Today, so that was cool.

The costumes most in play for the trophy of Best Costume were based on wordplay...there were 2 women dressed like beavers carrying a cardboard picture frame. They would open the frame, ask you to pose with them, and voila, you were in a "Beaver Picture."

One girl walked around with a lamp shade on her head, feeding what appeared to be a large turd in a diaper using a baby bottle. She called herself "New Shit Has Come to Light."

One of the Dudes brought along his wife, who dressed as the never-seen-in-the-movie character, Larry's teacher, Mrs. Jamtoss.

Two lanes down from us a short swarthy guy was bowling and having his every move videotaped. It was apparently the host of the Food Network show Ace of Cakes, who had created a Giant Toe cake with White Russian frosting. I had a small slice after the crowd assaulted the cake; it was good. The episode will be aired in September, I was told.

All in all, a fun evening, with plenty of bad bowling, watery drinks, oat sodas, rotating marmots, and flash photography.

There was an "after party" from 1- 3 am at our hotel...Lee and stopped by briefly to check it out, but we didn't stay. We would have needed a lot more alcohol to enjoy that shindig, and we're not really party animals.