Remember the U.S. Attorney Scandal???

I used to think that the Democratic leadership was dragging their feet on the U.S. Attorney Scandal because they feared it would distract from the presidential campaign, ensuring another Republican term.

Now I am not so sure. After the arcane parliamentary tricks they unveiled to stymie a FISA do-over, I'm now thinking they were/are taking their time so that the actual prosecution of the rats involved does not begin until AFTER Bush leaves office, thereby guaranteeing that Rove and Company do some hard time for peeing on the Constitution, and preventing Bush from issuing a sweeping pardon, as his father did with Cap Weinberger, et al.

Denounce & Reject

It is Obama's turn again to denounce and reject someone else's idiotic rhetoric.

I'm reminded of the scene in A Few Good Men:

Lt. Weinberg: "I strenuously object?" Is that how it works? Hm? "Objection." "Overruled." "Oh, no, no, no. No, I STRENUOUSLY object." "Oh. Well, if you strenuously object then I should take some time to reconsider."

This storm will pass. The Right Wing Noise Machine is cranked up to 11, as it were. Nothing short of Obama's crucifixion on HBO will satisfy them. Whether or not Obama gets the nomination, this is how the dead-enders are going to campaign for Bush's third term. Hillary will get the same treatment.

Meanwhile, McCain's buddy Rev. Hagee is getting a pass. I haven't read the Federalist Papers in their entirety, but I'm pretty sure there's no mention of America being founded to destroy Islam in there.

Whatever happened to a) separation of church and state and b) freedom of speech?

It is going to be a long campaign. Ugh.

Mittens is Back!!!!!! Woohoo!!!!!!

It's like he never left.

Those Magic Undies cannot be beat.

Hated Moralizer Downfall Alert

Newsflash: Eliot Spitzer (D-NY Luv Guv), perhaps the homeliest (former) Attorney General this side of Dick Blumenthal, a man best known for his moralizing and heavy-handed prosecuting, was caught financing the interstate transport of a multi-thousand dollar hooker.

Who says capitalism is boring?

Incidently, this officially caps the Tri-State Governors Corruption Trifecta: McGreevy in NJ, Rowland in CT, now Spitzer in NY... with Giuliani & His Hamptons Mistress the cherry on top of the sundae.

And Eliot resigned, albeit artlessly.

A final thought: Hey, all you conservative Republican low-lifes (Rick Renzi, Larry Craig, David Vitter, etc.) hanging on out there. That is what you are supposed to do when you're caught red-handed. Slink off into the sunset.

Clinton/CIA Water Slide Dream

Yesterday I went down a water slide several times with my 7 year old daughter. The experience, with jet-assisted water, was like being expelled at high speed from a giant womb through a 4 foot wide birth canal. The only indication the event was ending was the sudden appearance of light at the finish. I was thankful I didn’t injure my back.

So I dreamed last night that the Clinton campaign, having won the presidency, had me spelunking underneath the White House. I was digging from one direction, Bill Clinton was digging from the other, and I guess Hillary was giving us direction from the Oval Office. I knew I’d reached Bill when the light broke through at the end. Repeating this process 3 or 4 times, Bill would emerge each time we completed a tunnel. He would then rip a wooden panel off the tunnel wall, exposing colored wires “for the CIA” he’d say to me in an aside.

I don’t know what to make of this dream. Which was more disturbing? The idea that Hillary won (I'd prefer Obama, but I could vote for Hill)? The idea of Bill tunneling beneath the White House on behalf of the CIA? That Hillary was aware and approving all of this? That I was invited to help out, me, a lowly Rhode Island Democrat with no Clinton connections whatsoever? That I had subconsciously connected a high-tech rebirth experience with political dirty works?

27 for 38...Ty Cobb Would Be Jealous

So rabid plagiarist Tim Goeglein sampled other folks sweat for 27 of his 38 published columns. That's a .711 batting average for you kids scoring at home.

The column that got him caught was a decade old, apparently, but many of his other columns were freshly pilfered from 2006 and 2007 materials.

Some commenters to Nancy Nall's blog have had the nerve to tell her she should have given Goeglein a headsup first, or perhaps the White House itself, to spare this man the humiliation and perhaps his job.

You can't cut Goeglein any slack. This guy was being lazy AND stupid.

And give the White House a headsup? What!?!?! THIS White House? The home of more Constitution-shredding, obfuscating, stonewalling behavior than the Nixon and Reagan and Bush 41 White Houses COMBINED?

This White House and this Administration got exactly what they deserve: more sullying of their dreadful reputation. Bush 43 will be forever renowned for incompetence, greed, failure, and mismanagement.

Bloomberg Decides Not to Run

Apparently Mayor Bloomberg announces in tomorrow's NYTimes that he ISN'T running for President.

Duh, ya think? Bloomberg's been stalling so long he was making Fred Thompson seem more decisive than John Paul Jones.

Dude hardly reads the paper. You wanted him to run our country?

The possibility exists for Mayor Mike, however, to swoop in as McCain's VP. Maybe that is what this announcement is really about. FatCat billionaire rescues the destitute St. John W. McSurge.

Bloomberg Outraged About Old McCain News

Mayor Bloomberg announced today that he was shocked, just shocked, and very angry that the New York Times reporters wrote mean things last week about Johnny Mac, scandal-wise. "I hope that the Times would be more careful the next time," he said, a tone of menace in his reedy voice. Apparently Mayor Mike reads his Thursday NYT first thing the following Tuesday.

In other news, Mayor Bloomberg opined that the reported Swift-boating of John Kerry was "outrageous." The New York Post reporters who used these rumors for article ideas would have "a negative impact" on Mr. Kerry's chances, he said.

He concluded his press conference by also saying that there was no truth to evil rumors that President Cleveland was responsible for the Panic of 1893. Bloomberg thoughfully rubbed his chin and exclaimed that reporters for The Sun who had written accusatory stories detailing those rumors should be "horsewhipped" for attempting to "hornswoggle" the public.

6-10 inches of snow, but no rollovers!

Wow. I just drove home through a decent snowstorm and I really only saw one vehicle driving way too fast for the conditions. And he/she didn't roll it. The traffic was very light, too.

Mitigating circumstances:

1) school vacation week
2) well-anticipated storm that didn't start until AFTER morning rush
3) snowfall was light to moderate all day
4) little wind
5) it was a Friday, so some opted to just stay home

All in all, a convergence not unlike the lunar eclipse earlier in the week. All the conditions lined up perfectly to keep all the humans, at least on my stretch of 95, alive.

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Oh, and on the politics front, Johnny Mac may not be having sex with a lobbyist.

But apparently every other possible McCain campaign activity you can think of:

fundraising
advising
serving as chief of staff
gassing the Straight Talk Express
pilotting private jets around the country
opening doors
passing out campaign literature
eating
wiping him down

IS performed by lobbyists.

Conservatives are weenies w/o principles, take 2

All it took for reluctant cons to swing to St. John McCain was for him to get sandbagged by the New York Times. JM and his Stepford wife, Cindy, made an impassioned plea for us all to ignore this story. Amazingly, though, he did not deny any specifics of the lobbying accusations.

Rush apparently jumped to Johnny Mac's defense. RedState and the other RW nutjob blogs are doing likewise. Romney's old campaign staff is apparently crying in their Maalox that the story hadn't broken in December. Someday the History Channel will run a "what if" special on just that topic. And meanwhile, Demosthenes at Shadow of the Hegemon raises an eyebrow: Huckleberry seems to be the prime recipient of any good to come of this story (scroll down to read "Yippee-Kay-Yay, GOP.") Makes you think, does it not????

All that is necessary for the conversion to be complete is for Mr. Dobson to come around. And why wouldn't he? As far as Rev. Dobson knows, Crazy Eyes John never Had Sex With That Woman.

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In commuting news this week: the drivers on I-95 have been particulary cranky, which I attribute in part to the full moon. Now that the moon is waning again, I expect some semblance of sanity to return (that is, they will only drive 75 and not 90 in the breakdown lane, and I will have to actually do something to one of them to earn getting the bird).

Gov. Carcieri Picks Big Dig Manager to Run RIDOT

Governor Donald Carcieri (R-Clueless) has chosen Michael P. Lewis to take over Rhode Island’s troubled Department of Transportation.

Lewis is famous for overseeing Boston’s Big Dig, a construction project that jumped in price from $2.6 billion to $14.8-billion over a 7-year period.

Cost-overruns. Quality issues. One death.

In other news, Carcieri is said to be considering Michael Brown, formerly of FEMA, to run Rhode Island's Emergency Management Agency. For the role of science advisor, Carcieri is said to be looking at one of the former Morton Thiokol engineers who designed the O-rings on Shuttle Challenger. And for his new chief of staff, Carcieri is said to be pondering Mike DuHaime, the genius campaign manager from the recently-deceased Giuliani campaign.

Saudi Arabia v. UK, or Bandar Bush Hearts London

From the Guardian:

"Saudi Arabia's rulers threatened to make it easier for terrorists to attack London unless corruption investigations into their arms deals were halted, according to court documents revealed yesterday.

Previously secret files describe how investigators were told they faced "another 7/7" and the loss of "British lives on British streets" if they pressed on with their inquiries and the Saudis carried out their threat to cut off intelligence.

Prince Bandar, the head of the Saudi national security council, and son of the crown prince, was alleged in court to be the man behind the threats to hold back information about suicide bombers and terrorists. He faces accusations that he himself took more than £1bn in secret payments from the arms company BAE.

He was accused in yesterday's high court hearings of flying to London in December 2006 and uttering threats which made the prime minister, Tony Blair, force an end to the Serious Fraud Office investigation into bribery allegations involving Bandar and his family.

The threats halted the fraud inquiry, but triggered an international outcry, with allegations that Britain had broken international anti-bribery treaties."

Any surprise that the Bushies are tight with "Bandar Bush" and the rest of the Riyadh criminals?

One favor I ask of the Creator

I don't ask our Creator for much.

I asked for a couple of extra seasons of Futurama...and this was granted, albeit the extra seasons were truncated by those heartless bastards at FOX, who really hated the show. And the few extra seasons we got were pre-empted or interrupted by pro football and every other special event FOX could summon.

Yesterday Harriet Myers and Josh Bolten were finally voted as being in contempt of Congress for ignoring their subpoenas months ago in the U.S. Attorney scandal investigation.

So all I ask the Creator is that Myers and Bolten get frog-marched by the Sergeant-at-Arms, via inherent contempt, into the little jail cells that exist in the catacombs of the U.S. Congress.

I don't care if W tries to pardon both of them the next day....I just want them arrested, dragged through an airport or three in handcuffs, and shoved into Congress' basement lockup for 24 hours, with hundreds of little flash bulbs going off.

Bush can fly back from Africa like the Phantom and pardon them...I don't care. It is obvious with the nonstop stonewalling we've gotten from the Bushies that pardons are in line for all of them, anyhow, as long as Bush can abuse that power.

Please God, if you're reading this...do this for me. You kinda half screwed me on Futurama. 24 hours and I'll call it even. Thanks eternally, in advance.

Your pal, Larry

Update - turns out Bush may not have the power to pardon them: according to Wikipedia, 'Presidential pardons appear not to apply to a civil contempt procedure like the above, since it is not an "offense against the United States" or against "the dignity of public authority"'

So there you have it, Lord. Not even Bush can mess with inherent contempt. He's practically daring you to do it. And it's Matt Groening's birthday.

A weird day in politics: Romney Hearts McCain

So Willard has released his delegates to John McCain. I wonder what conservatives make of this development?

Some of those votes for Willard were protest votes: long after he dropped out. "Nah, I'm givin' 'em to Johnny Mac, cuz we're so alike!" Go ahead, cons, rip your ears off and poke out your own eyes.

Then Lincoln Chafee (R-Looney Tunes) endorsed Obama. Now don't get me wrong...I am all for folks endorsing Obama. But Lincoln Chafee!?!?

This is a guy who claims that Bush went to war illegally and wasn't deserving of his vote in 2004...yet he voted for Justice Roberts and Alito just the same, so we're stuck with those crockpots in the SCOTUS for the next 30 years. Thanks for nuttin', Linc.

If I were Obama, I'd tell Lincoln to go stuff his endorsement.

Meanwhile, in Congress, the Repugs marched out en masse to protest the contempt charges against Harriet Myers and Josh Bolten while FISA and Rome burned simultaneously. All in all a very strange day in Washington and on the campaign trail.

Obama and Huckleberry

Obama had a great weekend, and Hillary had to get rid of her campaign manager.

And Huckleberry had a good weekend as well. And I never saw one news item all weekend about McCain...was he even campaigning?

What was shaping up as a hung Dem convention is now beginning to look like an Obama tsunami.

And what looked like consensus on the Republican side is now looking like open rebellion against St. John McCain.

The next few weeks should be very interesting.

Thoughts on Louisiana

Now that the Republican primary is over, for the most part...the Dems take center stage.

Louisiana is expected to go for Obama. I know he's been there recently; don't know if Hillary been to LA recently or not. I can't believe that Katrina's aftereffects are still an issue. You would have thought that the total destruction of an American city might have been a priority for the Bush Administration. But no, the Bushies are content to allow every mess they've created become the responsibility of the next President. Has there ever been such an irresponsible, incompetent group of human beings, EVER!?

I'll bet that these sluggards think they are going to enjoy the usual post-Presidential perks: jetting around the world, collecting big speech fees and consultancy tabs, holing up in think tanks. I think they are in for a rude awakening. I think they are going to be hounded every day of their rest of their lives for their various war crimes and crimes against humanity.

Conservatives are weenies without principles

Oh, they'll talk a good game. "I'm never voting for X. He's not a real conservative."

"How can I support him? He was married three times, twice to barnyard animals...my principles won't allow me to vote for him."

Here's the dirty truth. Conservatives have no principles. Lack of principle is one of the hallmarks of a true conservative. So support will coalesce eventually around John McCain, sure as stink will coalesce around an exercising ape.

Jay Severin is an excellent example. Yesterday he was all "I'm never voting for McCain. My principles won't allow me...blah, blah, blah...."

Today a caller asked him if he'd vote for McCain if Romney could be persuaded to take the Veep slot. "Well, he won't take it....but I guess if he did, I'd have to vote for him. I'm a Romney Republican..."

Yes. You're a Romney Republican - a conservative without principles.

Mittens goes out with a whimper

Romney quit today. Here's the quote from his CPAC goodbye: "If I fight on in my campaign, all the way to the convention, I would forestall the launch of a national campaign and make it more likely that Senator Clinton or Obama would win. And in this time of war, I simply cannot let my campaign, be a part of aiding a surrender to terror." And just think...we won't have Nixon to kick around anymore, either.

I hope I run into Mittens someday. I'd like to sock him right in his fat CEO millionaire's mouth.
And I'd tell him: "Listen, you big draft-dodging weenie. You've been surrendering to terror your whole life. Now for slandering honest Democrats you get to surrender to my fist."

I don't know what was more disgraceful today...listening to Mittens' drivel, or listening to Jay Severin soil himself describing the tears running down his face while he listened to this awful speech.

Romney and Severin both think he has a shot in 2012 and beyond. Here's my prediction. It aint happenin' for Romney, not now, not in 2012. Not ever.

Romney is oblivious to reality

And why shouldn't he be? He's a Mormon, for God's sake.

Any normal human being having already spent $40-50 million of their personal fortune to become President would give up after a performance like last night's.

It is crystal clear that unless Jesus himself takes his Second Coming to the Deep South in the next few weeks and personally endorses Mitt that not one evangelical voter is going to vote Romney. Every chance to vote they had last night, they voted for Gov. Huckleberry.

So run on, Mitt. Spend your limitless millions. Maybe you have secret LDS knowledge about Jesus' upcoming endorsement plans.

In the meantime those of us in the reality-based environment will enjoy watching McCain win the nomination by and by. And listen to Rush Limbaugh and Jay Severin slowly go mad.

Rove & Fox News consummate relationship

It's official.

Rove and Fox News are joining each other in unholy matrimony, just in time for Super Tuesday.

At least now when Fox News is broadcasting Karl's talking points they'll have to pay him for them. Not like their old arrangement, where Karl wrote them on the taxpayer dime and Fox News broadcast them for free.

Let me guess what his first night of punditry will sound like...regardless of how the Democratic race turns out, it will be a good night for Republicans. And regardless of how badly Romney loses, it will still be a good night for Republicans.

I think I could save Murdoch some money.