Who Would Jesus Plagiarize?

From the WH Press Secretary:

"Tim Goeglein has loyally served President Bush for over seven years and worked tirelessly on his behalf to promote the President's policies. Among his contributions, Tim helped establish the President's Faith-Based and Community Initiative, and the President's Emergency Plan for AIDS Relief. He also played an important role in the confirmation of Supreme Court Justices Roberts and Alito.

Today, Tim accepted responsibility for the columns published under his name in his local newspaper, and has apologized for not upholding the standards expected by the President. The President was disappointed to learn of the matter, and he was saddened for Tim and his family. He has long appreciated Tim's service, and he knows him to be a good person who is committed to his country. President Bush accepted Tim's resignation today. "

Ah, yes. Faith-Based Initiatives and the bald-faced lying and thievery of other folk's intellectual property. They go together like Domenech and the Washington Post, like DKGoodwin and Russert, like Barnicle and Imus.

The fellow who wrote the book Goeglein stole from...that's a little bit understandable. I haven't checked it but it probably didn't sell many copies.

But plagiarizing music columns from Jonathan Yardley of the WaPo?!?!?! What...the LA Times doesn't have any Cole Porter fans? [tip of the hat to The Kenosha Kid, via Eschaton]

Hey, buddy...some of us read the paper every day. We're not all Bloombergs. You were bound to get caught.

I'm gonna make a t-shirt: Who Would Jesus Plagiarize?

Bloomberg Decides Not to Run

Apparently Mayor Bloomberg announces in tomorrow's NYTimes that he ISN'T running for President.

Duh, ya think? Bloomberg's been stalling so long he was making Fred Thompson seem more decisive than John Paul Jones.

Dude hardly reads the paper. You wanted him to run our country?

The possibility exists for Mayor Mike, however, to swoop in as McCain's VP. Maybe that is what this announcement is really about. FatCat billionaire rescues the destitute St. John W. McSurge.

Bloomberg Outraged About Old McCain News

Mayor Bloomberg announced today that he was shocked, just shocked, and very angry that the New York Times reporters wrote mean things last week about Johnny Mac, scandal-wise. "I hope that the Times would be more careful the next time," he said, a tone of menace in his reedy voice. Apparently Mayor Mike reads his Thursday NYT first thing the following Tuesday.

In other news, Mayor Bloomberg opined that the reported Swift-boating of John Kerry was "outrageous." The New York Post reporters who used these rumors for article ideas would have "a negative impact" on Mr. Kerry's chances, he said.

He concluded his press conference by also saying that there was no truth to evil rumors that President Cleveland was responsible for the Panic of 1893. Bloomberg thoughfully rubbed his chin and exclaimed that reporters for The Sun who had written accusatory stories detailing those rumors should be "horsewhipped" for attempting to "hornswoggle" the public.