waterboarding, Rudi, Edwards

Can anyone who voted for Mukasey really think they were going to get a different kind of answer? As soon as he was confirmed I knew that he'd turn into a BushCo apologist. Well, he can get in line for the Hague, right behind Rummy, Rove, Cheney and W.

Rudi, I think I speak for many on the left: when I heard that you've thrown in the towel, I was devastated. Who will pepper our airwaves with smug appearances with the Real Santa? Who will snap at the press like a starving Rottweiler? Who will wag his finger and remind us of 911 every thirty seconds until Election Day? Who will lecture us of the foolishness of the "Carter/Clinton" model of getting early primary victories? Who will spend a fortune on NH only to run away when the polls tanked and pretend it was all part of a master strategy? Who will giggle for 30 minutes like a slightly intoxicated freshman on Meet The Press? McCain must be so proud to have the endorsement of this washed-up tyrant with nowhere else to go. I hope he makes it onto the ticket as Veep so we can bash him some more in the fall.

And so John Edwards (D-Plastic) has quit as well. I liked many of the views he espoused, especially the concern for poverty-stricken Americans, but ultimately he was not convincing to the voters. Like the old joke goes: If he'd learned how to fake sincerity he'd be all set.

Last Sighting of the Yellow-bellied Texas Lame Duck

Looking for quotes about tonight's SOTU address...here's a good one: "This speech will have all the suspense of the 500th rerun of I Love Lucy,' said Jack Pitney, professor of political science at Claremont McKenna College in California (via Dan Froomkin, WaPo columnist).

But you know...I liked I Love Lucy.

It was more like the the 500th rerun of a really crappy show, like The Incredible Hulk or Charlie's Angels or Land of the Lost.

Anyhow, I saw a word cloud of the speech and expected to see "nukular" prominently displayed, but it didn't make the top 50 words. I heard W mispronounce it 3 times in a matter of seconds, but I guess he caught himself and stopped.

God...can January 20, 2009 come fast enough?????

Tomorrow's Tuesday...Rudi 9ui11ani's swan song...man, I hope Ron Paul's lemmings can get out the vote. I desire total humiliation. Less than 10 percent, and Paul finishing fourth ahead of Rudi.

Obama and Juno

Watched enough of the SC returns (30%) to see that Hillary Clinton was gonna get squashed tonight like a hot grape, to paraphrase the late Hunter S. Thompson. So we recorded Obama's victory speech and left to catch the 9:00 showing of Juno in nearby Mystic, CT.

Juno is clever and charming, and very well cast, though I could have done with a smaller dose of Jennifer Garner. Here at Manic Indolence, I award Juno 4.5 Golden Hammocks. The theatre in Mystic is small and serves popocorn with Real Butter, yum. We had the place to ourselves, apart from two other couples. I love watching movies in nearly empty theatres.

We've now seen 2 of the nominees for Best Picture. I still like No Country for Old Men (4.75 Golden Hammocks) best, but we have more movies to see.

Signing off now to watch Obama's rally...

Fred08, now Kucinich...

who am I going to vote for????

I don't expect Dennis' departure to change anything in SC. I'll miss the references to a Department of Peace.

Fred's absence, though, seems to fuelling a Romney surge.
Whatever it takes to get a split convention in St. Paul, folks.

I was kinda hoping Fred'd hang around enough to ensure Rudi 91u1an1 his sub-10% 4th place finish, right behind Ron Paul rEVOLution.

got MLK?

Yesterday was the official Martin Luther King, Jr. Day...even though his actual birthday was a week ago. So I don't feel too bad that I'm a little late writing an MLK tribute.

I think of Martin Luther King as one of my heroes. I remember that sad spring in 1968 when it seemed like hope was gone forever...Dr. King was assassinated in April, Bobby Kennedy was assassinated in June, and the long, unjust war dragged on.

A lot of folks have quoted from his "I have a dream" speech. I'd rather post a quote from his 1964 Nobel Peace Prize acceptance speech:

"...I accept this award today with an abiding faith in America and an audacious faith in the future of mankind. I refuse to accept despair as the final response to the ambiguities of history. I refuse to accept the idea that the "isness" of man's present nature makes him morally incapable of reaching up for the eternal "oughtness" that forever confronts him. I refuse to accept the idea that man is mere flotsom and jetsom in the river of life, unable to influence the unfolding events which surround him. I refuse to accept the view that mankind is so tragically bound to the starless midnight of racism and war that the bright daybreak of peace and brotherhood can never become a reality...."

Dream job #3

Thinking about my next dream job on the way into Boston today. Today's dream job: Musician who plays the same note over and over again.

I had my daughter Jacqueline in the car with me, and we listened to music - the Cape and Islands station, 101.9 on your radio dial.

An old lite rock song was playing, heavy and steady on the cowbell. I mentioned to her I thought that might be an easy/desirable job for someone who isn't musically inclined (that is, me).

Jacq, a former violinist and high school band member, straightened me out. "Oh, no Dad....you gotta keep rhythm."

"I can keep rhythm," I said. "I may be mostly white, but I think I can bang a cowbell for 30 seconds straight."

"No, Dad...actually, percussion is very difficult, and all the other members of the band depend on you to do it just right." So I stand corrected.

Maybe I'll be the guy who bangs the same note on the piano for what seems like a minute in the Doobies Brothers song "Take me in your arms (rock me)". That dude aint percussion, and he seems to just hit that same note over and over and over again, as regular as the lies that shoot out of Dick Cheney's mouth.

NY vs. NE in AZ

Now that Lawrence Tynes has finally figured out how to kick a field goal...who to root for in this Super Bowl?

I followed the Patriots as a very young kid...loved Jim Plunkett and Steve Grogan and Russ Francis, and all of those ne'er do well teams of the 70s and early 80s. I suffered through that embarrassing Super Bowl pasting delivered by the Chicago Bears...

Then around 1989 I began working and driving in metro NY, began listening to WFAN, and fell in love with the Parcells/Belichick Giants. Phil Simms. Otis Anderson. Mark Bavaro. The original LT.

Now I'm back in New England, and enjoying watching Belichick and his Patriots' successful run.

But come Super Bowl Sunday, my Giants DNA will kick in and I'll have to be loyal to Big Blue.

Though if the Patriots win, I'll still be able to enjoy their miraculous run. I know a lot of football fans who aren't from New England think of the Pats and Belichick as evil entities (or maybe that's just Gregg Easterbrook), but I think any reasonable football fan has to admire the way Brady and the rest of the Patriots work and play.

Paul Uber Giuliani

So Ron Paul beats Giuliani in Nevada and South Carolina...I think MSNBC should add Paul's mug to the Florida debate lineup.

Rudi & Paul. Paul n'Rudi. I want to see that matchup of GOP luminaries.

Oh, and I loved hearing Pat Buchanan rant about how immigration was the primary issue in the country and in SC, but for some strange reason the two candidates most closely associated with "amnesty" and granting student loans to illegal immigrants finshed 1 and 2 in SC.

Thanks to Fred08, Huckabee only garnered 60% of the grits and deep-fried squirrel vote.

Onto Florida!!!!!

Can't get enough of Huckabee

Pastor Mike is a mite surly for a minister.

When he's not raving about adding Commandments to the Constitution or bashing gay marriage, he's offering up squirrel recipes to the morning shows or threatening folks with the business end of a flagpole.

I hope he wins South Carolina by 30 points. The Death Star Party deserves Mike Huckabee.

Not sure what is more exciting to me at this point: the GOP SC returns on Saturday night, or the Pats game on Sunday.

My favorite swamp

Great Dismal, on the Virginny/NC border, near the Atlantic coast, and apparently the home of Blackwater.

Can't beat that name.

My favorite South Carolinian

My favorite South Carolinian is General Francis Marion, the Swamp Fox of the Revolutionary War, in the bad old days when all the states still had slaves.

I read a book about him when I was very young, and his clever tactics against the British made quite an impression on me.

Can't say anything nice about the current crop...the only one I can think of is Bob Jones, of Bob Jones University. And he's got a man crush on Romney, of all people. Sheesh.

more Huckabee crapola

Today, Huckabee compared gay marriage to bestiality.

Apparently having sex with animals is high on the list of topics South Carolinians are hot to discuss...more important than Iraq, more important than Iran, more important than global warming, more important than the 300 point drop in the Dow, more important than Romney's perfect hair.

As a witness to the rampant gay marriage going on in Massachusetts (I work there), I can assure everyone that it hasn't impacted my marriage whatsoever.

Memo to all you Bible-thumpers out there...marriage isn't a Judeo-Christian creation. Ancient Egyptians and Sumerians were practicing marriage long before the Bible was written.

Huckabee and the 1st Amendment

Quote from Mike Huckabee:

"...I believe it's a lot easier to change the Constitution than it would be to change the word of the living God," Huckabee said. "And that's what we need to do, is to amend the Constitution so it's in God's standards rather than try to change God's standards."

You know, so President Huckabee can get his deepest darkest desires met: that gays can't marry and abortions are totally illegal in every possible situation.

Uhhh, riiiiight. Good luck with that.

Pastor Mike is entitled to his free speech rights under the First Amendment. But he might also want to peek at the rest of the First Amendment before he starts rewriting the U.S. Constitution to fit God's plan.

This passage in particular: Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof.

Nor'easter aftermath

The storm that dropped 4-6 inches on southern Rhode Island yesterday left more like a foot out here north of Boston.

Bright sun rising in the east, so the white, wet snow clings like butter frosting and freezes to the branches and limbs. It made for a pretty commute.

The roads in were in great shape...didn't see any accidents or abandoned vehicles today, or spinouts, either. Mass drivers take advantage of one peculiarity that you don't see anywhere else. It is OKAY to use the breakdown lane on Rt. 128 (I-95) as an extra driving lane during commuting hours. So I feel sorry for the poor schlubs entering and exiting who have to try and merge with the high-speed breakdown lane idiots. During an active storm it is not unusual to see several folks spun out in these areas; and afterwards the breakdown lanes can be blocked with snow. But the Mass DOT did a good job for a change, and everything looks great now.

Looking forward to getting home tonight in time to watch the returns from Michigan. I am a serious politics junkie, if you haven't noticed.

Forecast: partly happy, with a chance of schadenfreude

Poor Willard & His Magic Undies...

Rolled the dice by yanking his resources outta Florida and South Carolina, only to be locked in a steelcage death match with the zombie-like McCain.

The soon-to-be-raptured Huckabee waiting in the wings to scarf up third place with the help of robocalling evangelical wingnuts.

Edwards and Obama took a pass, so droves of cruel mischief-making Democrats are lining up to vote McCain in the Republican primary because Hill is running against "undecided."

I'm torn. Part of me will miss Mitt's bizarre ads and snapshots of weirdly choreographed family life...part of me wants to see this weasel-lipped, overly-coiffed, flip-flopping opportunist of a millionnaire gets what he richly deserves: an ass-kicking of cosmic proportions.

So however it shakes out tomorrow in Michigan...the forecast is partly happy, with a chance of schadenfreude.

This Week's Euphemism

**transfer station**

We no longer have a dump in my town. We have a transfer station.

I was hanging out there yesterday and today, procuring signatures so I can run on the Rhode Island Democratic primary ballot as an Uncommitted Delegate. I had a very good weekend: I got 150 signatures, the exact number I need. Only some of the folks who signed:

a) may not live in our town
b) don't know their own correct street address
c) don't know whether they're still registered in town or not
d) are too embarrassed to admit they aren't registered to vote

So I still need to collect another 35 or so to be safe. I have until Friday. The only downsides: a couple of random arguments with Bush-deadenders who wouldn't sign, and one Republican lady's German Shepherd (with a head so massive, it could have passed for Secretariat in a dark alley) bit my right pinkie, the bastard.

I miss calling it the dump. "Transfer station" sounds so hygienic. Anyone who has been to this particular one knows it is anything but hygienic. Sure, there may be environmentally nice things being transferred around, like glass and metal and plastics. But there are also plain old trash, garbage, filth, germs, viruses, vermin, stenches. Just ask the seagulls.

So I was doing a lot of hand-shaking in perhaps the dirtiest place in Rhode Island, this side of The Foxy Lady (famous Providence strip club, for non-New Englanders). Only one person called me on it, though. Late in the day a woman shook my hand, then squirmed a little bit and told me I should be using sanitary hand wipes.

I told her I figured she had just handled trash, I had been shaking the hands of trash handlers all day, so we were probably even.

But she countered with this: she hadn't handled trash, really: she had only dropped off her rinsed-out recycleable bottles and cans, and her neatly OCD-bundled newspapers. No trash on her pristine Independent mitts.

So I had to admit she had me. At least she signed my petition. But she kept looking at her hand like I gave her leprosy.

C'mon lady. It's a transfer station, for gosh sakes.

The best thing about watching the Pats win again

No one mentioned their winning streak until the game was OVER.

And just like that...we're down to three teams in the AFC.

I hope it is Indianapolis and New England again in the championship next week, for revenge purposes, mostly.

That, and it relieves me from having to watch Philip Rivers try to throw a football.

Dream job #2

Dismal rain-soaked ride in this morning. When I wasn't being tailgated by one-headlight contractor vans, I peered through the mist to get my daily bolus of gruesome signage.

Billboards for Cardi's, a local furniture store in Rhode Island, pepper I-95 around Providence. Man, am I tired of looking at the chubby mugs of the 3 owners...

A little further down the road I was stuck behind a large brown trash hauler. On the back of the truck, in large, white sans serif lettering:

AMERICAN
WASTE
617-555-5555

There’s probably a President of AMERICAN WASTE.

I would LOVE to be able to tell folks that I’m the President of AMERICAN WASTE.

Then I could say “I’m not just the President, I’m a member.”

Chewing gum

I love chewing gum. Orbit is especially nice. Trident is okay in a pinch. But have you ever thought about what it is exactly that you are savoring, when you swallow while you chew your gum?

Your own warm spit. That’s what you’re savoring. The tepid, sweet, fruity, perhaps even minty mélange of your own expectorations. Yum!

Cue the bubbles for Johnny Mac

After watching a replay of a portion of McCain's NH victory speech from last night just now, I can't believe he'll end up as the nominee of the Death Star party. I expect Magic Undies will eventually win, or the convention will be split so that one of our feckless Iraq generals can swoop in.

McCain was reading from prepared notes. And man, was that painful to witness. He stumbled and fumbled and bumbled through his index cards. My heart still kinda goes out to him. His book was great, he obviously had a lot of challenges in life and he persevered. But someone should stop this campaign. If not, the voters will reject him down the road, a la 2000. And no one will have to spread scurrilous rumors about his adopted kids. They'll just have to show clips from last night.

Folks used to complain about Ronnie Raygun getting old on our dime, but that decrepit monster could still read a TelePrompter and wing it without notes from time to time.

Hey, Johnny Mac, it is officially Lawrence Welk time. Cue the bubbles. And as LW used to croak: "SERUTAN...ah that's a NATURES ah spelled ah backwards..."

Obamarama

I work in Ipswich, a friendly seaside village in the People's Republic of Taxachusetts. So I'm only an hour or so from southern New Hampshire. On a whim I scouted out the primary night rallies of the different Dem candidates, and realized I could attend Obama's pretty easily.

I got to the rally at about 7pm. The lines into the high school auditorium in Nashua were very long for e-ticket holders like myself. I spent an hour chatting up a couple of young software guys...one game development instructor at a local tech school and a programmer from EMC. The crowd was youngish, although there were a few fellow dinosaurs lumbering around, too.

Standing in line made us suckers for affiliated causes. Two folks dressed in giant pink pig costumes were marching in favor of a "meat tax" to reduce global warming. And I gave a fiver to Habitat for Humanity.

The rally itself was pretty cool. I ended up about 20 feet directly in front of Obama's podium so I got some decent pics.

Obama is simply an electric orator, and the place was packed with voters and media. We watched election coverage alternating between MSNBC (can Matthews suck more than he does?) and CNN (Bill Bennett AND Ralph Reed?!?! - I wanted to vomit with rage) on a big screen projection TV with live updates, while we waited for him to appear.

Obama was gracious in defeat to Hillary. After he spoke briefly, he and his wife walked the line in front of us, shaking hands, and the crowd condensed to the point where I was within 6-8 feet of him. I had a US-Marshal type dude with one hand on my shoulder when the crowd collapsed, so I didn’t try to strain or fight to touch his outstretched hand. But my cellphone pic of him is awesome.

I think the high school held about 1700 folks, and they had to turn a few hundred (maybe a thousand?) away.

Great Democratic turnout throughout NH, so even though he didn’t win last night the crowd was happy and spirited.

I was very happy for Hillary, as she’s been taking it on the chin for a while now, and certainly deserves better. And the polling leading up this primary couldn't have been more wrong.

Still not sure who I’ll support when Rhode Island votes in March. But Barack is impressive.

Today’s Backronym

At Manic Indolence, we are all about the research.

Reading about sneezing educated me. After I accomplished my goal of determine sneeze velocities, I kept reading. I learned of the photic sneeze reflex. I also learned about the backronym SNATIATION - a combination of the words sneeze and satiation.

from wikipedia: SNATIATION is a medical disorder characterized by uncontrollable bursts of sneezing brought on by fullness of the stomach, and typically observed in sufferers immediately after a large meal….

…(t)he term "SNATIATION" … stands for Sneezing Non-controllably At a Time of Indulgence of the Appetite—a Trait Inherited and Ordained to be Named.

I don't think I've ever experienced snatiation. Besides my sun-induced sneezing fits, though, I am prone to sneeze (generally 3 consecutive loud blasts) when it most inconvenient...passing other cars at high speed, or just before I am supposed to shake someone hand.

So it could just as well be: Sneezing Non-controllably, Always at a Time of Inconvenience and Also a Terror-Inducing or Offputting eNdeavor.

One goal of this blog

This blog has several goals. One goal is to keep most of the other goals a secret. Thought you could trick me, didn’t you!

Another goal is to occasionally make you laugh hard. Any old yob can make you snort your Ovaltine. I want you to laugh so hard, that someday whatever liquid you’re submersed in rockets out of all of your orifices simultaneously, and at sneeze-like velocities (that is, 140-150 mph). Pool water, perhaps. But it could be grape soda or yak’s milk, if you’re also attempting a grape soda- or yak’s milk-related Guinness World Record. But on second thought, the higher the viscosity, the slower the exit velocity, so you’d better stick to water.

Ovaltine or yak’s milk just aren’t going to work that well.

All you need to know about Iowa

from the Group News Blog, via DailyKos

Total Voter Turnout (approximate)
356,000

Percentage of total vote
24.5% Obama
20.5% Edwards
19.8% Clinton
11.4% Huckabee (R)

Transfenestrated cats and Sternomobiles

We were going about 70, near Quincy, when I lightly tapped my brakes. I was returning my oldest daughter to college in Boston, and the traffic up ahead was a red-light embolism.

I was totally unflustered, but she immediately shot all four limbs out like a transfenestrated cat fresh from a nap. I apologized for waking her up, and got to thinking about my own lack of adrenaline rush.

Years of commuting to grad school in Queens, NY from Connecticut stunted my adrenal glands years ago. I remember driving in those early days, when a car totally engulfed in flames was unnerving. By the fifth semester I was vaguely uneasy until I saw a Sternomobile. I guess my unease was due to the idea that it was unlikely my car would spontaneously combust if it was already someone else’s turn. One per semester seemed to be the average.

You can tell experienced metro NYC drivers from amateurs by how they react to flaming cars. The panicky rookies freak out, pounding on their cell phones, and wildly gesticulating like traffic cops with Tourette’s. The old pros yawn, shrug their shoulders and adjust their rearview mirrors.

Dream job #1

How sweet would it be to be the GM of an all-robot sports franchise?

No player salaries. No uniforms. No free agency. No strikes.
No first class charters…you could Fed-Ex your entire team and teach ‘em how to self-assemble.

All you need are electricity, batteries, spare parts, and a little WD-40.

And there’d be little of that tabloid junk…children out-of-wedlock, spousal abuse, club shootings, dog-fighting and gambling scandals, etc.

Probably have to keep guns/weapons out their shiny metal hands, though…there’s always the potential of developing a RoboCop ED-209-type software malfunction, or an inadvertent SkyNet-like superconsciousness.

There’s no whining in the blogosphere

I hate blogs that whine. Whine about linking, not linking. Or “Nobody reads my blog.” “Nobody votes for my blog.” “It’s so hard to come up with something funny/original to say every goddam day.” Et cetera.

There should be no whining in the blogosphere.

If any of you ever catch me whining about blogging, feel free to shoot 39 gazillion IP packets right through my ears.

The Ultimate Chain Restaurant

Ever notice how many chain restaurants serve food from the bottom of the food chain?

Red Lobster, for example. Disgusting. Lobsters are the hot, buttery cockroaches of the deep.

I think the ultimate chain restaurant would only serve food from the top of the food chain. Tender tournedos of tiger. Lemon lion’s loin. Filet of killer whale, with a sprig of parsley. Noisettes of Great White Shark. Eagle’s eggs, poached, with a nice hollandaise.

I’d call my restaurant “Top O’the Chain.”

Oh, and I’d serve choice cuts of rich people on Saturdays.