Tuesday, January 1, 2008

The Ultimate Chain Restaurant

Ever notice how many chain restaurants serve food from the bottom of the food chain?

Red Lobster, for example. Disgusting. Lobsters are the hot, buttery cockroaches of the deep.

I think the ultimate chain restaurant would only serve food from the top of the food chain. Tender tournedos of tiger. Lemon lion’s loin. Filet of killer whale, with a sprig of parsley. Noisettes of Great White Shark. Eagle’s eggs, poached, with a nice hollandaise.

I’d call my restaurant “Top O’the Chain.”

Oh, and I’d serve choice cuts of rich people on Saturdays.

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