Dream Job #4

Of my dream jobs, this is the first real one I could actually do with little or no training: Vermont Teddy Bear Counselor - specializing in Latino Bears. All I'd have to do is move to Vermont, muchacho, and brush up on my Espanol.

Here's a thought: if you are going to call them Latino, why not use the Spanish word for bears: "osos"?

There have quite an assortment of osos....here are a few:

the Latin Lover bear: "suave, debonnaire, and as romantic as they come, our Latin Lover will make her weak in the knees. Wearing a silky white shirt with gold chain and faux black leather pants, and holding a Bear-sized, red velvet rose "between his teeth," this is one Bear that will really sweep her off her feet." Um, right.

the Mamacita: a bear in a "sexy little black dress and a red velvet rose in her hair." Bonus selling point: the dress has the word "mamacita" embroidered into it.

the Papi Chulo: a bear wearing a "black shirt and pants with a red velvet rose boutonniere." Kinda gangsterish.

the "¡Te Amo!" bear: a white bear with a big ole red Liberace bowtie. Tough sell, I think.

the Amor tattoo bear: "His heart-shaped "Amor" tattoo shows the one you love just how much you really care. Wearing jeans, a white T-shirt and dark shades, he may look tough on the outside, but he's a real softie on the inside." What, no bears with piercings?

I'd have to specialize: being a generic Bear Counselor seems rough - there are way too many bears. Keeping to the ethnic ones makes the job enjoyable, mamacita.